Overcoming Alzheimer’s Fears of Eating Out

After my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I developed a fear of taking him out to eat. Even at familiar restaurants he loved, he would become flustered when servers asked questions about his order.

His condition hindered his ability to process information. This inability to process questions quickly caused him frustration and anger; his poor hearing only compounded the problem

I had to find a way to get our server to communicate with my father, and to do so discreetly, so my father would not feel ashamed or embarrassed. That is when I made an Alzheimer's “business card.”

Materials Needed:

1. The document file, or make your own
2. #110 Index paper
3. A dollar bill

Tools Needed:

1. LibreOffice Writer, or some other spreadsheet program
2. A printer
3. Scissors or a Paper Cutter

1. Open the document file, or open new spreadsheet file and type out the directions for the server.
2. My card said the following:

The person I am with has Alzheimer’s

Please be patient with him.

Please speak slowly and directly in front of him.

If you have many questions for him, please direct them to me.

Thank you.

1. Format the text to fit in an area that is 2 inches high, and 3 ½ inches wide.
2. You can copy this 2 or 3 times. You will not need to many cards.

1. Once the card is formatted, place the index paper in your printer.
2. Print out the cards
3. Cut the cards to size using the scissors or paper cutter

1. When going out to eat with your loved one, make sure you have the card and a dollar bill.
2. Hide the card behind the dollar bill, and hand it to the host or hostess seating you. Ask them to give it to your server, and whisper “Make sure they read it.”
3. Bonus Hack: Servers often associate an early tip with a generous guest, so expect some good service. If asked about the tip, share this hack with your loved one.
4. If your server has a multiple choice question, like a choice of bread, give your companion a binary choice, like “Muffin or biscuit?”.
5. If the server gives you the card back, have a lie ready.
6. When this would happen, I told my father that the card was for me to leave some feedback on the meal with the restaurant’s website. This would satisfy his curiosity while preserving his dignity.

This card will also help with those with other forms of Dementia, as well as some other cognitive disabilities. It will make dining out with your loved one an enjoyable experience, as it should be.